By Amy Daws
At 33 weeks pregnant, Amy is certain something bad will soon happen, it has too many times before. Deep down she fears it’s only a matter of time before the baby she’s carrying will die. Despite the fact that Amy has been repeatedly slapped in the face with multiple miscarriages, she still can’t seem to quiet that tiny voice in the back of her head that’s screaming at her to not give up hope.
Follow Amy’s true story as she stumbles through her journey with humor and warmth all while dealing with the neuroses that come along with getting her hopes shattered time and time again. All she has to do is close her eyes and she’s lurched back to the memories of her losses on the floor in her bathroom, in the hospital, and even at her place of work. No one knows what the internal mind of a woman who’s lost five babies and suffered this many let downs goes through. Can Hope ever truly survive memories such as these?
Excerpt from Chapter 6:
A few days after we scheduled our C-section, I eagerly awaited my very first baby shower. I decided to have a baby shower while still pregnant instead of waiting until after the baby was born, which was a big decision for me. Mostly because having a baby shower during pregnancy would insinuate to the world that I expected this baby to arrive safely. That was a big no-no for me. Sorry God, please don’t curse me. Conversely, I just couldn’t shake the dream of my baby shower occurring while I was still pregnant and rocking a nice big baby bump.
I anxiously got dressed for my shower and carefully selected a bold print maternity dress with cap-sleeves. I accentuated my round bump by adding a thick black leather belt notched tightly at the empire waste line. I looked good, I felt good, and I was ready. Before I got into my car I had a quick and private conversation with my baby to be.
“Okay sweetie, you behave in there, okay? Mommy is going to be very busy talking and opening gifts. We’re going to attempt to celebrate your impending arrival. So if you could just wiggle and kick and let me know you’re doing all right in there, it would really help Mommy feel better and enjoy her day, got it?”
I of course received no response. My baby was not the type to be manipulated or guilted into anything on command. I could already tell she’d be one of those kids that would march to the beat of her own drum. The prospect of my baby having her own little personality already thrilled me.
Amy Daws is local network affiliate commercial producer and lives in Sioux Falls, SD with her husband, Kevin and their daughter, Lorelei. She graduated with honors from the University of Northern Iowa, despite fiercely executing her wild college-girl phase. Amy received her make-believe medical degree from the school of Google on infertility and miscarriage (that’s not a real thing).
On most nights, you can find Amy and her family dancing in their living room to Strawberry Shortcake’s theme song or stuffing themselves inside children sized playhouses and then struggling to get back out because there is nothing they wouldn’t do for their little miracle.
She is passionate about sharing her story and connecting with other women like her that have suffered losses and are in search of empathy and understanding. Amy held on to hope in her journey because she knew the payoff of a miracle child would be worth the wait.
Amy will be awarding a silver chasinghope name necklace to a randomly drawn commenter during the tour. Follow the tour and comment; the more you comment, the better your chances of winning. The tour dates can be found by clicking the banner below: Good Luck!
This promotion was brought to by both the author, Amy Daws, and Goddess Fish Promotions. If you are interested in Goddess Fish Promotions, you can contact them via website, Twitter, Facebook, Blog, or Google+.