Baby Girl Doe: Chalice #5
by Lawrence Kelter
Everyone deserves a well-earned vacation, don’t they? Guess again! Plans have been made and the bags are packed but Detective Stephanie Chalice is having about as much fun as Michael Vick at an ASPCA fundraiser.
The new story finds Chalice and Lido on the East End of Long Island, vacationing with Max, their new arrival. Things go wrong from the very start. Their vacation rental burns to the ground, bodies pile up, and just to make things interesting Lido . . . Well, I’ll just leave it to you to find Chalice may be out of her jurisdiction but she’s never out of questions or determination and soon connects two unsolved homicides. As always, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts and her initial findings plunge her deeper and deeper into the most extraordinary investigation of her career.
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Excerpt:
Humorous
“There’s nothing wrong with the Menuccis, but you know how Dina earns a living, don’t you?”
“She works evenings selling restaurant supplies. Are you crazy or something?”
“Ma, listen to yourself. Who sells restaurant supplies at night? She’s a call girl. My God, how gullible can a person be?”
“Madonna mia, sweet little Dina? Are you sure? She said Vesuvius is her biggest customer.”
“Vesuvius, the Italian restaurant on 49th Street?” Ma nodded.
“Yeah, I’m sure there’s an eruption there every time she walks through the door.”
“How can that be? You know Mickey V, the owner; he’s a family man.”
“First of all he’s not Italian, even though he professes to be. He’s Greek. That’s why he never uses his full last name.”
“For real?”
“Yes for real. His last name is Vloganitis, or Vaginitis, or something you’d need antibiotics to clear up, and he’s the biggest sleazeball on two feet. Believe me when Dina visits him in the restaurant, his soufflé isn’t the only thing that rises.”
“So Mickey is Greek?”
I nodded with conviction. “Mickey is short for Mikolas. He got into a jam over unpaid traffic tickets several months back and asked me to help him out. That’s why I know his real name.”
“Were you able to help him?”
“I made a call over to my friend Tay at the DA’s office. She pulled some strings. They let him pay the fines, and he was able to avoid criminal charges.”
“And he’s Greek.”
“Like baklava, Mama.”
“Oh my? Does that mean . . .”
“That’s right, Ma, Dina’s probably multi-portal.”
She cringed. “Stephanie, that’s disgusting.”
“You brought it up. Do you prefer I use the term backdoor specialist?”
“Madonna, too much information.” Ma pretended to retch.
“Ma, you’re such a prude. You’ve never heard of ass play?”
“What play?”
“Ass play.”
“Isn’t that the group that sings about clocks?”
“Oh my God.” What am I going to do with this woman? “No, Ma, that’s Coldplay.”
“Stephanie, I’m confused.”
Evidently. “Ma, ass play . . . anal sex. Stop being such a Girl Scout.”
She shrugged. “You mean like for a gay man.”
“It’s not just for gay men, Ma. Straight couples do it too.”
“But why?” Ma was completely out of her comfort zone. Fine droplets of sweat broke out across her lip.
How can I put this delicately? “Sometimes a man prefers to squeeze his car into the garage instead of just leaving it to hang out in the nice wide driveway.”
“You’re losing me. What does this have to do with cars?”
Sometimes there’s just no beating around the bush. Yikes. I can’t believe I just said that.
“Because, Ma, after a woman shoots two or three linebackers out of her vagina, it isn’t exactly a snug fit anymore.”
Ma smiled with revelation. “Ah. So you’re talking about a man’s pleasure.”
“Correct.”
“What about the woman?”
I flashed my palm like a stop sign. “I’m not going there, Ma.” I wasn’t saying I don’t go there, but
I wasn’t going there with my mother.
“I still don’t believe it. Dina told me flat out that she sells macaroni.”
I giggled. “A hooker whose cover story is that she sells macaroni? Does that make her a pasta-tute?”
My Reaction:
This is the first time I have read a novel from Lawrence Kelter. At the point of beginning the book I was clueless as to how my reaction to it would be. Note that this is the 5th in a series, but I was easily able to read it as a stand-alone book. Not once did I find Baby Girl Doe confusing or lacking. The absolute plus side of the whole novel is that I am going to be going back to the first four novels to devour them, Baby Girl Doe was a fairly quick read for me.
Having a detective that is a woman {and married mother} is a refreshing change of pace. I would say that I easily connected with Stephanie, with all the bad-luck her family had on just trying to take vacation-I couldn’t help but connect. If it could go wrong and be extremely stressful, it does. This is most certainly true from the beginning of their deserved vacation.
There is plenty of action, mystery, and great detective work that will keep your attention from the first page to the last. Will the two unsolved murder cases be solved, will Stephanie ask the right questions, and more importantly does she ever get a chance to relax with her family??
A resident New Yorker, Kelter often uses Manhattan and Long Island as backdrops for his stories. He is the author of the Stephanie Chalice Mystery Series and other works of fiction.
Early in his writing career, he received support from best-selling novelist, Nelson DeMille, who reviewed his work and actually put pencil to paper to assist in the editing of the first novel. When completed, DeMille said, “Lawrence Kelter is an exciting new novelist, who reminds me of an early Robert Ludlum.”
His novels are quickly paced and feature a twist ending.
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Thanks for hosting!
Thanks for the chat,
LK
This was a great review. I really loved the excerpt.
Great excerpt and a lovely reviews. Thanks for sharing.
ilookfamous at yahoo dot com
I did enjoy reading the excerpt. I love the review and absolutely love that this can be read as a stand along-although from what you wrote I might want to read them all!!
i love this line from the excerpt : His last name is Vloganitis, or Vaginitis, or something you’d need antibiotics to clear up . it makes the book sound funny and intriguing