Midnight Riders
By Pete Clark
Publisher: J. Ellington Ashton Press
“Gather ‘round people and you shall hear about a bunch of bullshit that is clear. Of riders and horses and monsters too; your parents lied – they can still get you. Hardly anyone who was there is alive to dispel the rumor, uncover the lies, but there was more than one man who rode that day and more than just Redcoats who got in their way.”
Along the way, Longfellow lost something in his translation it seems. Everyone has heard of the French and Indian War and the American Revolution.
However, they have not heard about them this way!
The American founding fathers had a lot more to deal with at the end of the 18th century than tariffs and tea; avoiding hurled trees from Wendigos and gargoyles falling from the sky took a lot of patience. How is Samuel Prescott supposed to hunt the leader of the Rippers when the British keep infringing upon the colonists’ rights?
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Excerpt:
Boone was sure he heard Revere scream as the zombie Forbes charged at them. On his way, Forbes took a nice hearty bite out of an off duty soldier who happened to be nearby. “Grullarrk,” the soldier said clearly before falling to the ground.
Forbes Zombie was fast. A hell of a lot faster than Forbes was in real life. How the heck did that work out, Boone wondered. Oh well. He unslung his double-barreled reverse musket, an invention of Revere; the guy was good for something, thought Boone as he fired and turned his former commanding officer’s head into a floating cloud of red mist. He then flipped the release on his musket, spun the barrels so that the fired barrel faced back and the loaded faced forward, and he vaporized the downed soldier’s head as well just to be sure. He wasn’t about to let any zombies rise on his watch.
“Everybody to the wall,” Fraser ordered. It seemed that Boone’s gunfire and the shrieking had alerted the remaining werewolves, who were apparently done feasting on the French and wanted to upgrade to a little English breakfast.
“Zombies and werewolves,” whined Revere. “I sure hope no vampires show up.”
“Vampires?” Boone countered. “What are you, a child? Vampires aren’t real.”
“They’re not?” asked Revere.
“No – vampires are just a myth. But dragons, dragons will fuck your shit up,” said George Washington.
Top Ten
For this list I have put together ten of my favorite supernatural creatures in no particular order. Some liberties are taken with some of the lore but hey, it’s just a fun list. I may change my mind about what should be on it by tomorrow or the next day, but they are all awesome and that is what counts.
Wendigo: A violent incarnation of insanity and rage. The wendigo is often portrayed as a simple cannibal, but when you really turn these guys loose and let them blossom into the terrain obliterating fuzzy mass of unstoppable rage that they can be, then they are tough not to love.
Zombies: Ah the zombie; so simple, so stupid, and yet oddly creepy. The mindless solitary desire to feed at all costs, even at the cost of its own destruction, combined with a grotesque yet formally dressed appearance makes the zombie a frightening entity. Although only in groups; one zombie is nothing. But don’t get cocky. Chances are there’s more than one; you just don’t know where it is.
Phoenix: I am a fan of birds. Birds that burst into a searing torrent of flame and are then reborn? Well, that makes for an awesome bird.
Werebear: I love me a quality lycan. But those damn werewolves are getting overdone. So why not go with the Werebear. Bears are cooler than wolves anyway. How many times have you seen a wolf beat up a bear? I’ll tell you how many times- no times. Because it never happens. Bears will kill the hell out of you; Were Bears are capable of some major carnage.
Manticore: I love hybrid creatures. Monsters that are a mix of other things and smashed together. Well hello Mr. Manticore. Lion, cool wings, poison darts. What – poison darts come out of you? Ok that gets you on the list.
Chimera: Hey look another hybrid creature. But the chimera is the best hybrid of them all. A simply amazing and unpredictable mixture of a lion, a dragon, and a goat. That’s right. They got a goat mixed in there. Dragons are amazing, but when you mix it with the excitement of a goat monster, it makes a big pile of awesome.
Old School Vampires: Now I am pretty wary about putting vampires on this list as vampires have become a big sparkly bucket of teen angsty love and overall suckiness. But I say no. Those are not vampires; those are just well dressed men with sharp teeth. The real vampires burst in the sun, kill you for your blood, sort of smell like the grave, and enjoy a good fight. Those vampires are still awesome. It is just so hard to find a good vampire nowadays. Poor vampires. They have been ruined by junior high girls.
Succubus: Succubae are basically really hot girls that will kill you by having sex with you. I think that pretty much makes the case.
Doppelganger: The awesome name, best enjoyed while being said in a borderline offensive German accent, does half the work. Also it can become anything. Even you. In fact, you just might be a double walker right now and don’t know. Ich Liebe Doppelgangers. I also Liebe flammenwerfers but that is another list.
Kappa: Small creepy little water sprits that just want to invite you in for a swim. Sure, it’s to drown you, but that’s no reason to be rude. They also have little bowls on their head. So if you get attacked by one, shove its ass over and dump the water out of its head. That will mess it up.
Also Japanese mythology is packed with cool creepy things. I had to have at least one on the list.
Dragon: The dragon? Yes. Maybe it’s predictable, maybe they are overused according to some. But the dragon is the ultra-expression of sheer supernatural creature power. Flight, size, claws, armored skin and a variety of awesome breath weapons, often fire. What else does a dragon need? Perhaps a large mountain to make its home and a pile of riches from its mangled foes? Oh wait – they have that too. Dragons are the best and if you don’t think so then we probably can’t be friends.
Honorable mention: Minotaur, Centaur, Sphinx. And about fifty others.
Character interview: The Wendigo
Tell us your latest news.
Wendigo rise from slumber to destroy.
Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?
Message of destruction important. Humans need know I will mash them up. Maybe eat.
What books have most influenced your life most?
A history of you. 100 American forests. Botany.
If you had to choose, which writer would you consider a mentor?
Sasquatch and Yeti. But Yeti’s prose lacks polish.
What are your current projects?
Obliteration of humanity time consuming. Also general carnage is hobby. And Pinochle.
Can you share a little of your current work with us?
Lately I destroy lots. A fort, some trees. Also I turn one person into the consistency of soup. But flavor not good.
Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?
Flee. Destruction is upon you. Wendigo will yell “wendigo” and then you get eaten. Keep ears open.
What would you say is your interesting writing quirk?
After finish each chapter I throw tree through man’s chest.
What paranormal creature would you be and why?
Wendigo would like to be Wendigo. Dream realized. Wendigo happy.
What would you do if you didn’t have to work?
Spawn more rippers. Also maybe piano lessons. But need big piano.
What did you want to be when you were 10 years old?
Wendigo always love explore. Want to be archeologist. Now happy to eat Archeologists.
What makes you laugh?
The pitiful screams of my prey. Is funny.
If aliens landed in front of you and, in exchange for anything you desire, offered you any position on their planet, what would you want?
Wendiczar. Not sure what would be but like title.
If you could be any character in fiction, who would you be?
Respect King Kong. He knows how to bring the pain.
If Hollywood made a movie about your life, whom would you like to see play the lead role as you?
Ian McKellan.
If you could be a superhero, what would you want your superpowers to be?
Wendigo like fly. Save time on commute important to Wendigo.
If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title should be?
T- And that’s it. They only have time to write one letter before I squish them.
If you could have dinner with anyone from history, who would it be, and why?
Daniel Boone. Ask him what is always with the gunpowder.
If you could compare yourself with any animal, which would it be and why?
Polar Bear. Cute like me.
If you won $20 million in the lottery, what would you do with the money?
Eat it.
If you were a Star Wars character, which one would you be?
Answer too obvious. Wampa.
What kind of people do you dislike?
I dislike people. All.
What makes you angry?
Wendigo always angry. This question makes Wendigo angry. Now I feed you this tree.
Pete Clark likes writing, animals, potato chips, and cheese. Midnight Riders is his first published novel, although he can also proudly say he finally finished Helix Crashing, the fantasy novel he has been working on for over a decade. Someday, it will be out. In addition, he has written Across the Barren Landscape, a collection of linked Western short stories, and Tales from Midnight’s Graveyard, a collection of unconnected horror, science fiction, fantasy, and supernatural stories. He co-wrote Backward Compatible: A Geek Love Story with author Sarah Daltry. He also writes plays, both dramatic and comedic. When he is not writing, Pete tends to ignore everyone around him and obsess over sports.
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